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Human INTERACTION is such a natural human phenomenon that children easily learn how to interact and communicate at a very early age, without being formally taught how to interact. On the other hand interactions is a complex human phenomenon that even after years and years of research and plenty of scientific studies, it seems that we - for the moment - are none the wiser than when research started in the first place.
The inherent paradox of interaction, being a natural-simple human phenomenon and - simultaneously - an extremely complex, dynamic and sophisticated system, that appears to be utterly confusing. Actually, we all should be excellent "interactors" (the natural phenomenon of interaction); BUT in reality, most human interactions are riddled with plenty of conflicts, many misunderstandings, misinterpretations, lots of assumptions, hostilities, ...etc.
The causes and reasons underlying this interaction paradox depend on a wide variety of factors, circumstances, situations and - to make things worse - also differ from person to person. Thus, to explain the of interaction as a natural human phenomenon (i.e. sameness dimension) is an impossible feat and the best that we can to accomplish, is to try and understand human interaction as a dynamic system and try to contextualize our understanding of a specific situation as best we could (i.e. difference dimension).
One of the primary aspects that is found to be underlying most interaction difficulties, is that we establish healthy interactions and communications (e.g. with my daughter as a 3 year old) and than ignorantly assume that such interactions will remain statically the same and last forever (e.g. will be equally as effective when she is 25 years of age). This is quite a dangerous, presumptuous, arrogant and downright stupid assumption to make, because things DO change.
The child mature, acquire new perspectives, is exposed to all kinds and variations of stimuli, ..etc. and - as loving parents - we also change, acquiring new insights, exposed to all kind of stimuli, ...etc. As a matter of fact; both change... physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, perceptions, views, opinions and mindsets. Therefore, even when healthy interactions are established at first, the really difficult part is to sustain such interactions. To interact successfully, requires frequent personal calibrations and reality checks, to continuously accommodate and/or adapt to changes taking place and advancements in personal growth. In essence... it isn't such an impossible difficulty to establish healthy interactions in the first place, BUT sustaining it for years to come... that is the real difficulty, complexity and challenge of human interactions.
The "trick" underlying successful interactions isn't the ability to establish healthy, balanced and efficient interactions. The "trick" is to sustain a balanced and healthy interaction, despite the many pressures, changes and challenges that we are confronted with each and everyday.
Some of us were fortunate enough to be raised in families where healthy interaction skills were taught and practised (teach by example that is). In situations like these, healthy interactions aren't that difficult, because healthy interaction principles were acquired and CONTINUE to be applied on a daily basis. Many of us - however - were either not taught or for some reason, did not learn to interact effectively. However, regardless of our upbringing and background, we could not have made it this far in life, without learning to interact effectively in at least one life area.
Unfortunately effective interactions is often least evident where it matters the most. Many good, sensitive and intelligent people interact well in professional or social situations, but not in intimate or personal relationships. These individuals may be puzzled why they can interact so well with people they do not care so much about, but not with those they love. Sadly though, this is more of a accumulating modern day phenomenon, than being the exception to the rule.
A woman cannot comprehend how her husband could be a successful psychologist, and yet be unable to interact efficiently with her or with their children. She - usually patient and understanding towards others - is easily hurt and become angry with her husband; resulting in even more strenuous interactions. What many people do not realize, is that there are normally two dimension to any given situation...
Usually those people that do experience interaction difficulties from time to time, have sincerely tried - at least on some occasion - to share their feelings, expectations and dreams in a sensitive and understanding manner. However, when they failed and experience more pain, rejection and misunderstanding, they - understandably - began avoiding intimate interactions. They simply put up a protective shield or turned themselves off emotionally and - as a result - various Interaction Hurdles developed that interfere with healthy and productive interaction, often when and where it matters the most.
When we have not yet learned to interact efficiently - especially in intimate relationships - there is still hope. Fortunately, the underlying principles of healthy interactions are universal, whether in a business, social or personal context. We can learn to identify, become aware of and apply those interaction principles to improve or enhance interaction in all spheres of our life's. Interaction skills that is developed and utilized elsewhere, will begin to surface, grow and transfer where they effect our life's the most... providing that we seriously pay frequent and quality attention to our interactions, constantly practice to contextualize it and deliberately try to avoid a "one-size-fits-all" or "scientific-determined-recipe" approach to interaction.
To successfully establish and sustain harmonious interactions, is more of a "right brain" endeavour, than a "left brain" function, but to gain and maintain a holistic perspective on human interactions - vital for healthy interactions cooperation and co-creation - we should deal with human interactions as a "whole brain" sourcing phenomenon.
We are warm-blooded human beings that interact with one another and our environment; NOT logical driven humanoids that react favourably to "scientifically researched mental buttons that are pressed".